Section II: The Case for Promoting Marriage
Advanced Psychology Seminar
Discussion Questions
Think of an example of a happy couple. What are the components that most
strongly contribute to the couple’s happiness?
Is it better to be married than alone? Why?
Why do you think marriage is fragile today?
Assuming that marriages of today are endangered (as evidenced in lower marriage
rates and raising divorce rates), what is the solution?
Critique the proposed individualistic view of current marriage. Discuss
positives and negatives based on your experience and opinions.
What role might an emerging focus on equal rights play in how marriage is
viewed?
Discuss the dilemma facing African American women in terms of marriage. Do you
believe things are changing for this group?
Which of Cherlin’s three options in the future of marriage do you believe is the
most likely? Why?
Is Marriage Right for Us All and Always?
Research should compare married, single, and divorced on well-being. Also:
Advantages remain when psych and social factors are
controlled
Marriage benefits are not limited to those in good marriages
Good marriages are more beneficial than other lifestyles
Marriage benefits prevail regardless of SES, ethnicity, and
rural vs. urban
Effect sizes of measured advantages are substantive
The State of Matrimony in the U. S.
Between 1970 and 1996, the proportion of 25 to 29 year olds who had never
married more than tripled for women.
Cohabitation is increases; half of women in their 30s by mid-1900s
By 35-39, vast majority of White women but only 65% of African American (AA)
women marry
27% births to White women occur outside marriage but 69% do for AA women
Americans Still Value Marriage
Americans remain convinced that married people are happier than those who never
marry.
Americans have become more open to choices that lead them to postpone marriage;
thus, marriage has become an ideal.
Unmarried AA and Hispanics (H) showed more interest in getting married than
unmarried Whites, as did those with lower SES
Family building goals may become less of a sequence of events and more of a
group of objectives.
Problems in Finding a Viable Mate
Some must choose within a dilemma: They can marry someone who has few virtues to
offer and many liabilities, or not marry at all.
Reasons for refraining:
Hoping to find men who would help provide economic support.
Refrained from marrying because marriage announces one’s
class standing.
Remaining single or cohabiting gave them more control over
decision making
Concerns about trustworthiness of men.
Concludes that hesitation to marry for lower income does not signal devaluation
of marriage; in fact, many do so out of deep respect for the institution.
Premarital Signs of Future Distress and Divorce
Rocky, turbulent courtship
Personality: lack of conscientiousness,
independent-mindedness, and anxiety
Men: all three
Women: anxiety
Sweet, undramatic courtship – “good-hearted;” courtship smooth and marriage
endures
Passionate courtship – early sex and relational commitment
As newlyweds, more affectionate than most
After 2 years, still affectionate but more apt to be headed
toward divorce
Emotional Climate of Marriage and Divorce
Happy, stable marriages are built as much on a foundation of
love and affection as on the absence of strife.
Warm: high in affection, low in antagonism
Tempestuous: high in affection, high in antagonism
Bland: low in affection, low in antagonism
Hostile: low in affection, high in antagonism
Both happy and not happy marriages had distinctive emotional climates at the
outset of their marriages which did not change
“Mixed blessing” marriages survive because a favorable balance exists between a
marriage’s positive and negative elements
“Momentary mates” were young, and marriage afforded them a chance to escape
unhappy homes.
Thus: people’s personality makeup and social attitudes are deeply etched into
their being by the time they reach adulthood, and though not immutable, they are
relatively stable. It makes sense that given the stability of adult personality,
it predicted how partners behaved and felt about their marriages 14 years later.
The Case For Promoting Healthy Choices
Some argue that marriages have become fragile because partners today are less
willing than they once were to be generous, endure hardship, and show loyalty,
particularly when the marriage is not going well.
Others argue that an increased focus on self, inherent in the growing
individualism in western societies, enables emergence of more egalitarian
relationships.
Oklahoma Marriage Initiative
"I am enjoying these exercises, and I agree our society has too much divorce,
but it doesn’t seem right to me that a woman should stick with a man when she’s
miserable, or settle for one who doesn’t make her happy."
Discussion Questions
Think of an example of a happy couple. What are the components that most
strongly contribute to the couple’s happiness?
Is it better to be married than alone? Why?
Why do you think marriage is fragile today?
Assuming that marriages of today are endangered (as evidenced in lower marriage
rates and raising divorce rates), what is the solution?
Critique the proposed individualistic view of current marriage. Discuss
positives and negatives based on your experience and opinions.
What role might an emerging focus on equal rights play in how marriage is
viewed?
Discuss the dilemma facing African American women in terms of marriage. Do you
believe things are changing for this group?
Which of Cherlin’s three options in the future of marriage do you believe is the
most likely? Why?